Let's have the discussion of the "what to do about the family exchange gifts" here being as you have to scroll so far down and people probably won't find it there if they haven't seen it already and remember to look there.
Please would everyone make some comments and lets make a decision.
I'm okay with the recipe thing, but to be honest, I don't have any special recipes. I could try to make something up though. I'm fine with ornaments for everyone. Or another idea could be draw names and make it "white elephant" or regifting - somthing you got as a gift, you give to someone else. I have many wedding presents, I haven't even used yet as no where to put them - ha ha.
What does everyone else think?
Heather
53 comments:
I think I would rather just do away with the gift exchange all together, or not be included if you continue to do it. I don't want to sound like a grinch, but maybe it would be different if we lived around everyone else. For me, it is more fun to buy for Jari and Anita because they live here. But it is hard to know what to buy for someone that is out of town. You don't know what they like to do, where they like to eat, what their style is, so it's harder to know what to buy. And also too, you need to buy something that doesn't weigh a ton, because then you have huge shipping costs.
That's my opinion, would love to hear others:)
Jenny
If we do regifting, white elephant, etc. we still have shipping and hunting to do. I have discussed doing away with this exchange for the past 5 years. I just haven't shared my opinion with all of you. In some ways, it is a nice way to stay connected with siblings. However, there are 2 names out of the 9 I can possibly get that I haven't gotten in probably the past 15 years or so. That then makes the "connecting" a lousy excuse to continue the gift giving. I enjoy the giving. There are sometimes when it is an absolute joy. There are times when I know just what someone may need or will enjoy. Other times, I have to agree with Jenny. Financially, it has at times been a struggle to add one more gift to the giving, and that sort of takes the joy out and inserts stress instead. I am sounding like grinch #2 over here!
Jari's family doesn't exchange names. We tried it for several years and it fell by the wayside. I don't think we miss anything by not doing it on that side of the family. It would be nice if, instead of exchanging gifts, a family get together around Christmas/New Years was held somewhere. Bring everyone together to enjoy some food, fun, laughter and swap some stories. Those of us that live farther away would in all likelihood miss the occasion. Those that live in MN might not all be able to attend either, but it would be a nice way to celebrate Christmas with as many as could be there. Perhaps we can connect via some lovely satellite contraption. Should I happen across any more great ideas, I'll be back!
-a
Mom here is wondering if this subject concerns the $ 5.00 womens gift exchange also.rk
That is way too much fun ... and yes, occasionally frustrating. Personally, I'd like to keep that one going.
-a
i think a gift exchange is a fine excuse to be in touch with people - even if it means a bit of head-scratching and asking around to see what the person is interested in these days.
i'm all for taking it less seriously tho. i'd suggest a $5 or $10 limit and have the drawing include RDABCDEFGHIJ. the theme idea is fun, i like white elephant, and i know i could use a great many more ornaments. maybe the theme every year could be "christmas past" or "nostalgia" and those who aren't feeling creative or rich could pass along something from a previous year.
that's my two-cents.
e.
I like the idea of the gift exchange. I really like shopping for presents, making presents, white elephant (that was my theme this year =)and is a nice option). Anyway, I would like to do it. However, if most people don't want to do it, I would be happy making presents i.e. blankets etc. to donate to charity for presents for people next Christmas. I would like to know early as I have a million ideas floating around in my head about what to do.
I would also like to continue to do the girl's exchange. Missi are you interested in joining in next year being as you will then be a "Kuoppala girl"?
Heather
I re-read what I wrote the first time, and don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed buying for the other names that we have had too. It's harder when we have had a guys name, because I am the one who does the shopping for the gifts, and Frans never seems to have too many ideas.
I like the fact that it keeps everyone connected too, it's just kind of hard to discuss next year, and wether or not you are going to participate, when you haven't yet received your gift for this year!
For me it would be less stressful to not have a price limit on the name exchange.
I am for keeping the $5 girls gift. It has been kind of frustrating some years, but I'll stay in it:) For myself, I am not creative at all, so I would rather it just be anything to do with Christmas. But if you go with a theme, that's fine too.
Jenny
how about if we skip it (the name exchange) this year and see how it feels. that's my motion - is there a second? e.
I am moving Becky's comment over here from the other spot.
"I am in favor of eliminating the gift exchange as we know it and replacing it with a "theme" or "memory making" type of idea. We could even pick an easy theme that we ALL exchange with each other. For example, if the theme was recipes, we would send our favorite recipe to EVERYONE. That way the gift fosters our relationship with each other. Ornaments might be another idea. There are many inexpensive, but cute ornaments out there. We could send one to each household. ...I am anxious to hear thoughts from the rest of the alphabet. -b "
If B could update this, and CDGIJ could input a little bit I'd appreciate it. If someone talks to J, please ask her. I know she doesn't get to the blog.
Those of you who are reading the blog, but not commenting, please do so. I do not want anyone to be offended by the decisions made here.
Thanks bunches!!!
-a
Whatever is decided won't offend me :-) Machelle does the shopping anyway!
A theme kinda thing could be cool... and ditch the price tag part of it. If it costs fiddy bucks, so be it... and if it costs two bits, so be it.
Anything to relieve the stress of the season is a good thing =)
Charlie
My 2 cents as I tend to agree with Jenny. Dave does not do the shopping, I do all of it. My idea is this, you put all 10 (or 12 if we want to include Ma and Pa but we like getting them something special every year anyhow) names in a hat and draw out only 1. The other 9 concentrate on that one name and can make/buy something for them and/or their family. If everyone participated they would get 9 things large or small, no dollar amount, just something from the heart. That person names would be elimnated from the draw the following year and you would then pick from the remaining 9. You could select the persons name the beginning of the year and everyone would have an entire year to pick out or make something special for that person/family. This way (for instance Becky) you could select something that may involve the entire family or just Becky or Wayne or just the kids so you would be drawing a family (for those that are single then it would be all you-smiles), it could come from a garage sale or it could be white elephant or something made or purchased. I realize that someone would have to wait 9 years to get picked but we would much rather give then get so we don't mind the wait.
It would be kind of fun and this way we could ask the help of our husbands (Jenny and I) to participate and come up with ideas and give them plenty of time and options.
Maybe this is a dumb idea but I like the idea and we could even go as far as suggesting that who ever is picked for the year, holds Christmas. What ya think???
I'm sticking my neck out here so don't be to hard on me! (smiles)
Farmington Jo
Take R and D off an exchange of names. We would still be doing gifts for our 10 plus spouses so don't want to add more to that. And we have ideas for the next 2 yrs. I like the $5.00 gals gift exchange. I am going to cut down on $ amount for the 27 grandchildren. Time to face
reality; we are on a fixed income
with no insurance coverage for dental or glasses. Doesn't cover
much for doctor's office calls either but would pay more in case
of hospitalization which is really,
really nice. dk
Diane, As for our family, I am amazed every year when we get your box of gifts by how much time and money you must spend on each person! While we love all of the gifts you send us, it is WAY more than we expect! You can cut down on your spending for the grandkids and your own kids, and we would not be at all offended:)
I know my mom had a tough time this Christmas on stressing about what to buy for her grandkids and kids, as her funds were not overflowing. We stressed to her over and over, that we all get plenty of gifts, she doesn't need to worry about getting anything extravagant. She ended up getting the grandkids each a coloring book and box of crayons, and the younger ones a book....they were all so thrilled!
The moral of my story, is, please cut your cost down on us, and spend the money on yourself! You deserve it:)
Jenny
I really like Jody's idea. I like all of the ideas thrown out there so far, but that is probably my favorite. I think it would be a lot of fun. You could get several people in on a bigger gift, there would be a lot of communicating between everyone while we are finding out what others are getting that person, etc.
I like it.
Jenny
Even though we aren't in it, I like
Jody's idea. So some have to wait 9, some 8, and so on, they will get
a stack when it is their time. And
time flies. Just think, we have been here 2 years and 5 months and
the time has just flown by. dk
ma, at least you did not put the number of days you have been there, that would make it sound like you are not having fun(sitting there counting the days). We know that you are having fun there just had to chuckle a little. As far as the gift exchange goes, you are a genius Jody. I like that idea the best so far. It does not cut down on shipping expense or any of the other problems Jenny listed before but it changes things up and sounds fun. I am putting another motion on the floor here to get rid of the name exchange as we know it and change it to this. second anyone?
Frans
Well ok.. here is my 2- whatevers.. I think the greatest gift is just having family to enjoy. Not that I don't enjoy whatever gifts you send but I don't need them and half the time I never know any thing about them because Anita takes them. (LOL) Not that I'm apart of that ten but thats my 2-whatevers...
Jari
I really like your idea Jody! You are one brilliant gal. I would be all for eliminating the "old" way and changing to Jody's idea. The possibilities are awesome and am excited just thinking about what we could do with it!
Mom & I were talking about this last evening and I told her that I can't wait 'til my name gets drawn for Christmas. I would love to have the Christmas party at my house ... you MN folks might actually get a white Christmas that way. Unfortunately, she wasn't as excited as I was at the possibility of travel.
Mom & Dad, cut the spending at Christmas. I am in full agreement that I'd much rather you spend your monies on yourselves enjoying life!
My 2cents for the day.
-a
Dave and I talked about this again lastnight and there are so many possibilities that you could use. Frans, Jenny, Anita and Jari could go in on something together and combine shipping or go in on something with someone here. Dave and I also agree that if you draw the name on January 1st for each year that gives everyone 11 months to plan a trip to Phoenix if that is the name drawn, we would go for sure! 2 trips to Phoneix in the next 10 years is very feasable for us. Plus this would also get the kids involved since it would be a family drawing and not just the siblings. Whatever you all decide is fine with me but I think that Ma and Pa should draw the names.
Diane:
I also agree that you can eliminate the gift giving. Our boys get so much (and then some)and we are reminding them that Christmas is not just about gifts. They loved the pencils with the names and the other gifts you have gotten them over the years but they would also be happy to get a picture of you two and some fudge (smiles). I think everyone would agree that all of our parents on all sides struggle with the grandkids. My mom hands out "favor" slips. Tanner gets 2 trips of transportation to Buck Hill Ski Resort and Mitchell gets other favors. She does different things for all of the kids and they really appreciate it. The holidays can be stressful enough and my folks are living on a very fixed income and can not afford to buy for every grandchild (they have 19). So please use the funds on other things for yourselves.
PS: You have to keep doing the family crosswords, we enjoy them so much!!! There are still a couple that we can not figure out and Dave refuses to ask for help. (smiles)
Jody, I like what your mom does...the favor slips. I will have to tell that to my mom:)
Jenny
Jenny:
Another cute idea that my Mom does is the boys get a "Grandma and Grandpa" night. They get to spend the night over at their house and they get to pick what they want to eat and get to stay up as late as they want. Of course Dave and I benefit from this as well (smiles) as we get a night out ourselves!
Jari, don't tell me she is wearing
the longjohns I especially bought
for you to wear in Alaska! I couldn't find a smaller size but the
clerk assured me they will shrink and by shrinking, be warmer! dk
Another comment: I like what Kendra
does for the grandkids but for us
that is out of the question. Can't offer to bring anyone anywhere, might fall asleep at the wheel! Besides a sleepover here, we'd have company every weekend!! Would work
for Betty Forstie if lots of her
grandkids live in AZ. dk
So after all the input we have heard, how do we decide what we are going to do? Do you think more will comment? Do Gary, Ivan or Jen have internet access? Or has anyone talked to them to see what their thoughts are?
Jenny
Jen: where are you? I know you're suppose to be in Brainerd with very handy computer access.
Jody: that will be one trip to Phoenix and one trip to Alaksa. ;) I'll be fair. If Anita et al gets drawn this year, I promise not to be grumpy if no one can make it. Can't even guarantee that I won't be living in an igloo somewhere out yonder!
-a
I love the idea of drawing one name. Great idea Jody. We can replace that with the name exchange and then keep the girls one also.
2nd: Mom and Isa, you don't need to buy anything for Shawn and I. How about if you just come to visit and forget the presents. Not that we don't enjoy them, but we'd rather see pictures of your trip to Alaska.
3rd: I can't say that I will be making it to different places for Christmas. I understand that we would have a year to save up money, however, Shawn really likes to be here and we need to be. It will be different now with Julia gone - it would seem like now we wouldn't have to be here, but now is when we really may need to be here. I think that others in the Lindula family, will begin to spend time with the in-laws, etc as it has been put off for some time due to Julia's illness, but now, there are others who don't have another family, whom Shawn and I would like to spend Christmas with. So, though the idea is wonderful, I'm not sure that it is feasible for us. Call me the Christmas Grinch. If everyone else can get together and host Christmas, that is awesome. I'm just asking ahead of time that people not be hurt if people don't show. The other reality is that Shawn and I have replaced Mother and Isa in a way. Remember when they couldn't both come at the same time or couldn't spend the night anywhere in the winter? Our only source of heat is an outside wood stove, we can't leave it unless we asked for someone to come put wood in and our poor animals wouldn't want to be left either. Anyone up for 9 cattle, 3 goats, 2 dogs, 3 cats, and - if I have my way - 1 llama coming to visit? If it was in the 'cities, we would give it our best shots to be there.
So, Mom and Isa, draw a name and put it in the next newsletter on who it is, I've got the itch to start shopping =) - I don't want to go home as they are working on our house and if I show up, the work may stop or worse yet continue with me helping. =)
Heather
Hey mother-in-law
1. are you telling me that my wife is FAT !!! and she won't fit in those long-johns ??? LOL
2. I think she looks great in them... and yes, she steals some of my stuff. But the best thing of all is "I LOVE HER" more than words can say.
Thank-you for all the gifts you have sent.
your-crazy-son-in-law
Jen is coming to Brainerd on Sat.
rather than today. She can give me
her input then. I guess many of you
won't be reading the Blog until
Monday so are you all for us doing
the drawing? Really?
Also, son-in-law, you said you never
see your gifts so that's why I was
wondering if your wife confiscated
the Alaska bound longjohns!!
It sounds like most everyone has gotten pretty excited about the all on one idea. It certainly sounds like fun.
Maybe I am being paranoid, but before comitting, I just want to go over a couple things again. Reading all the posts for the first time all at once didn't allow me to process each idea. It made me read each post with as much enthusiasm as the next. The initial post talked about the difficulties of getting gifts for family that we hardly see, and thus don't know tastes, styles, etc. This method of drawing doesn't change that. Nor does it change shipping cost. Most concerning, if we are tired of the current method of gift giving, will we tire of it before the ten years is up when the only changes are that we focus on one letter of the alphabet and that we don't attach $$$s? Lots can happen in ten years.
Am I being Grinch #3?
If you are all comfortable going ahead, then sign me up for the gift.
I would love to host a Kuoppala Christmas. Just not Christmas eve or Christmas Day. I would love to do that regardless of what we decide with the gift thing!
Wayne's family gets together the Sunday before Christmas at the church. Then, in January, we do an adult dinner and gift exchange. We started with a couple different versions of white elephant gift exchnages. Now for three years, we have done an initial exchange. Each person gives the coordinator the initials of a dream thing they want. (Red Mustang = RM)The person drawing your name finds you something with those initials. (RM = Round Meatballs) It is a ton of fun and there are no money concerns.
My post is long enough to make up for my absense :-) Think it over and either keep the brainstorming going or count us in.
-b
I am in favor of keeping the girls gift going also.
-b
Becky, you're right, by switching the gift exchange to this new way, I know it still doesn't solve the problems I originally stated. However, it is something new, and exciting, and if we switch to Jody's idea, then I would still like to participate in it. I like the idea of going in on larger gifts with others, or adding to a gift someone else is getting, etc.
After talking with Diane and Jen on the phone tonight, I think there is some confusion on how this is going to work if we go ahead with it.
Reino and Diane would draw one name out of the hat, let's say for example this year they drew Frans. Then everyone (those who choose to participate) would buy a gift for Frans or Frans & I, or for our whole family. It could be anything you want to give....something homemade, white elephant, whatever.
Just because Frans' name is the one drawn, does not mean that you can not buy anything for anyone else. That just means that he is the one you buy for for the game we are playing. You may feel free to buy Christmas gifts for anyone else you choose. If Becky bought a gift for Frans but also wanted to buy a gift for Anita and Ivan too for example, then she could feel free to do that. I hope this clears up any confusion! I just think this would be a fun game. I agree with Becky also on the point that in ten years, we still may not want to be playing this game. But if we decide to quit after 5, then that's the way it goes....it was fun while it lasted! I know I would not be offended if Frans name hadn't been drawn yet, and we ended it after a few years.
Jenny
Hello everyone! Sorry I haven't been able to respond before this, but here is my input:
You can put me in on Jody's idea. I find enjoyment in giving gifts and do so whenever I can. Therefor, I will continue to do as such and continue with getting an additional gift for someone each year. To me, I really don't care either way. So sign me up.
With having a christmas being hosted each year by the name drawn, I simply oppose it. Everyone who has families has at one time or other voiced how they like to celebrate christmas as a family in their home. Though, I am single I wish to be able to set up my own tradition if I so desire. I am pleased to hear that I am welcomed to so many houses on Christmas or around the holiday season, but I don't wish to be tied down to that!
~caboose (jen)~
My opinion regarding knowing what folks want/need for Christmas. I think it would be fun brain storming. SOMEONE somewhere in the family knows what some other family/indiviudal uses/would like/needs/would enjoy. Anyone who wanted to could pile into a gift idea for one person/family if they chose to .. or not, whichever the case may be. Imagine having a gift of a fun filled weekend somewhere. Coupons for things could be included in the gift as well. I just think the ideas could be endless. They could include things that are gifts of time instead of money .. i.e. a weekend of babysitting. I'm in on this one if the name gets drawn.
As far as the Christmas travel. I like the idea of a family get together somewhere around Christmas. I won't be traveling anywhere. We have Christmas at home with our family. Summer and fall is filled with enough activities and family goings on that keep us hopping. I can't do that at Christmas as well.
-a
Okay, I wasn't going to write this, but I thought about it over the weekend and decided that I would post it. So, just remember it's a democracy and with that comes the right of free speach - Right?
We are all very fortunate right now in our lives. This Christmas was very weird in one way. I don't want to sound materialistic and I don't want for this to come out that way, but I had an eye opening experience at Lindula's for Christmas. There used to be presents from Julia every year and she got some from everyone. The Lindula's don't do an exchange of names.
We are fortunate as we still get presents from our parents. No, they don't need to do that, but we all love it and appreciate what they give. So, picture that stopping. Those that are married will be getting presents maybe not every year (Shawn and I didn't want to spend the money this year so didn't do anything). Those that have kids will likely get presents from your children for years to come. Some don't have either. No, I'm not eliciting sympathy, just something to think about. Aside from our family, Shawn got a pair of gloves and a 24 pack of Mt Dew for Christmas as one of his brothers brought presents. That doesn't normally happen. So, for some people if we do it this way and when our parents are gone, the only present they will be guaranteed to have under the tree will be every 9 years. I know that everyone is saying that they don't care. I know that I'm not saying that we should all be obsessed with presents, but just once, picture what our childhoods were like, what presents mean, and picture that being absent for 8 years in a row.
Maybe this is bothering me more than anyone else. I'm willing to go with the majority. I know people say that they will still buy presents for others, I know that I do, but some years are harder than others. I know a part of the issue with a name exchange was the money. Some felt the pressure to buy and would cut down on the cost of their spouses present, their children's presents whatever. Doing this idea to me, seems like it is likely to cost more money. If we go together on gifts, it will be to buy something bigger. The bigger the gift, the more expensive it is likely to be.
I don't know for sure what I'm saying, except picture no present under the tree for 8 years in a row and think if that's really what you would want for others for Christmas in order to make it easier to buy bigger presents or more themelike presents for one individual at a time.
Heather
Thank you Heather for sharing. These thoughts have been going through my mind, but I haven't known how to express it. -b
Spoke with Gary last evening. He
would rather not be included. Almost impossible to buy something the recipient could use or need. If he should see something that he really thinks would be good, he'd get it and give it even without having drawn the name. As far as exchanging gift cards, why bother!
(Mom's comment: I know Gary has never been crazy about giving gift
cards)
Thanks for sharing, Heather. That
is something to think about. dk
Hello to all.
I talked to Jody today on the phone and she agrees with me on this issue. The reason I mentioned it to her was because it was Jody that came up with the idea at first. NOTE, it was just an IDEA that she had so she put it on here. I thought that it was a good idea even though it did not solve some of the problems that were stated in the first couple of comments. I will explain why I think it is a good idea in a little bit. First I think that we should start from closer to the beginning. When there were all ten (maybe there were not ten when it started) kids at home and they were all young children it was too much to expect all the kids to buy each and everyone of the siblings a gift so the gift exchange was started. (That is the impression that I got from talking to mother and some of the siblings.) It was a good idea at the time when we were all kids. As a child, getting a gift is probably better than giving one. As for me as I got older I realized what christmas is all about. We already received the the best gift of christmas a long time ago. I think if everyone thinks about that the rest will fall into place. As far as receiving gifts, for me it is not at all what the gift is but more the joy you see in the person who gave it. I think that some people may have too much expectation or feel christmas is about getting gifts. I know that as for us we try to send at least one gift to everyone we know every christmas. All that is is a card wishing them a merry christmas. On the face it does not seem like much but wishing them a merry christmas means a lot more than gifts anybody can make or buy. As far as gift exchanges go I think they can be a lot of fun. The gift exchange as we know it in our family lasted for many years. In my mind a lot longer than it ever needed to, to serve the purpose that it was orginaly intended. Now that we are all adults I think it would be a good time to change to something more fun. For the last couple of years Jenny's family gets togather for a christmas party and they only buy two gifts. There is a game we play with dice and the first one to get the gift open gets the gift. That would not work in our family to well because we all do not get together in one place for a christmas party. So now I get around to why I think that Jody's IDEA is so good. If ma and pa only draw one name from a hat each year and everyone buys, makes, or does something for that person and the next year their name is taken out of the hat it would be just a fun game to play with the family with no expectation to what you are getting. There can be no dollar amount attached to it at all. When you attach dollar amounts there are expectations to the gifts that you receive. As far as going in on a gift with someone it does not mean that you have to get a bigger gift it just makes it easier to do. One more thing I think that we should do is not put our names of who the gifts are from. And if there is somebody that likes to write thank you cards for the gifts that they receive just tag it 'exchange gift'. Since it seems to me by reading the comments that everyone is a bit wishy washy and we are still at the same place we were before we started this post that I suggest that Mother and Isa put the names in a hat around the weekend of Feb 1 and draw out one name. If there are some of you opposed to that put your comments in that you do not want your name in the drawing and if there are not enough names to draw than there will not be a drawing. So I quess I am asking you, mother and Isa, will you do that?
My intent here is not to make any one mad or to sound like my idea's are the only way just trying to get the ball over the hill
Frans
My response, I'm afraid may have been taken as being materialistic. I sort of thought that was going to happen, so tried to preface it, but though I said that I didn't mean for it to sound materialistic, I guess I knew that someone would percieve it as such.
I understand what Christmas is all about. I understand that the most precious gift can never be given wrapped with a bow. I understand that my own Mother-in-law got the best Christmas present this past Christmas and no, it wasn't wrapped under the tree. I understand that, I believe that.
I also understand that we are all adults and the scenarios right now are very different from when it was set up when we were children.
I'm fine with doing whatever is decided and I think I mentioned that a couple times. I just pray that none of you get to the point in your life, when your Christmas is spent looking at your Christmas cards alone. No, Christmas isn't about getting, it is about giving, but how many of you can sit there and honestly say that you would rather take any of the gifts you get and give them away to someone else to watch their happy expressions at receiving them. I also understand that the gifts are about giving. That is partly why I wish that it wasn't just one person who was being given all the gifts, the expressions on others faces won't be visible or we won't hear their excitement.
I am at work and trying not to cry. I have a very clear picture of what Christmas is like for those that don't have parents anymore. I agree with the Christmas Cards being sent - goodness knows I send out almost 100 of them with the intent of just wishing someone a happy holiday. I will get present(s) for the person's name that we draw. I just threw my opinion out there. It wasn't meant to be offensive. I understand that Jody just put an idea out there. Jody, if you are offended by what I said, please talk to me.
I have had a life changing event happen in December and it has put new persepectives on things for me. I know of many people who have lost one parent, it is difficult but as Mother and Isa can both also relate, it is so different when both are gone.
Well, I stated my opinion those that read it, heard my opinion. That's all it was. Another perspective to think about. I'm not interested in doing a debate - I never would have made it in a debate team -. I earnestly pray that no one be put in the situation, that I seem to see so clearly and others don't. From my view, it isn't pleasant and it saddens me to see it.
To summarize, I know, I should have done that a long time ago =), I will do whatever the majority votes. If one person's name is drawn, fine, I will do that. I can't promise that I will do it for any certain number of years. I have decided that my giving, my dinner table at Christmas time, and my plans will for sure involve those that are in that picture that I painted. Everyone is always invited though. There is one right now who is in that situation. I hope you can see that my heart is right where others are and it is about giving. However, my perception of who should be receiving is different. It isn't about me getting a present under my treee, it's ensuring that others get presents under theirs.
Heather
I am not offended by any of the comments on here, everyone is entitled to their opinions. My idea was just that, an idea, I will take no offense to whatever anyone decides to do and hesitated to even put this idea out there because my fear was that what is happening is exactly what would happen, (remember I said don't be to hard on me). Don't sweat the small stuff, you all just decide what you want to do and let us know. We will not be offended in any way, shape or form. My intent certianly was not meant to take away the gift exchange as you all know it. (Maybe I should just take a different stance altogether and simply say that I am not part of the 10 and let Dave voice his ideas and opinions on his own and in his own way from now on).
Farmington Jo
Liz made a motion long ago in this list of comments to get rid of the gift exchange altogether this year, and I am going to second that.
We can see how it feels, and if we want to change it back to some sort of exchange for the following year, then we can discuss it then.
Jenny
I vote to eliminate the exchange because I feel Christmas is for kids, we are all adults not children.
Number 4
I third the cancelling of the gift exchange this year. My opinion is to revisit the idea next Christmas at a family party and decide what to do. I loved Jody's idea and thought it could be a lot of fun. I have enjoyed the many years' of exchanges we have done as a family of kiddos. I understand where Heather is coming from. Let's spend this coming Christmas giving if we want to whomever we want. Hopefully, those who live close enough together can share some time with each other. Sing, laugh, play some games, and be thankful for having each other in our lives.
-a
I agree with dropping the whole thing. If anyone is interested in joining me, I may do a "angel tree" gift for some family.
Heather
Well, this has generated more discussion that any other topic we have posted. Let's use all that energy in a positive way and keep communicating (not necessarily about the exchange!).
I hope nobody has taken offense from my comments either. Overall, there are MANY possible ideas. My thoughts have already been expressed and am very willing to take a year off from any "formalized" gift giving as long as we keep discussing options and/or communicating :-)
With that in mind, I will toss one more idea into the ring for consideration either this next year, the following, or for sometime down the road. Wayne's mother's family used to also exchange gifts via a name drawing as most larger families do for reasons spelled out nicely by F. They also got to the point where they wanted to remember each other and have fun, but were no longer interested in the $ or the material exchange of the past. They came up with a sentimental idea. They drew again. This time, each person was buying a gift that ANY member of the family would enjoy. It was to be a gift that reflected themselves or the family in some way. They could make, buy, be creative. These gifts became the exchange. Each year, they would re-draw, but now to see who got to keep which gift for the year. ...I can't remember all of them, but a couple examples: Margaret painted a picture of their parents and framed it. Dick made a wooden bench/coffee table. Someone contributed a silver platter that each family engraved with initials and the year they had it. ...Many years later, when even the youngest was a grandfather, they did a final exchange. That gift that each of their siblings had gotten to enjoy over and over was now theirs to keep. ...Varied amounts of dollars and sweat went into the first year. Memories were added each year after that.
Just a thought. Just like Jodi's.
-b
So far we are up to four people that want out. Jenny's doesn't count because I am in . She really does want to do it, she just got overwelmed by the 45 comments. Yes david the getting gifts is for kids but I still think it would be a fun thing to do. Bring out the kid in us. For all of you that want to take a year off the gift exchange, Why? are you just feeling overwhelmed by all the wishy washy comments. Jenny was, that is why she wanted a year off but she is as wishy washy as the next and she has changed her mind again. I mean really, what is taking a year off going to do? I never have been good at NOT having an opinion.
To make it easier to figure out who wants in on the GAME could you just put in a comment with an in or out and your name.
Frans
IN
Frans
IN
in
Dave
Help!! If when the time comes, I
put names into a hat of those who
want to stay in the name draw, I
have to know who they are. So far
there are a lot of "in" but I have
only names of Frans and Dave. I
know Gary is out. I liked reading
the comments and they were heart
rending. Isä is in the kitchen
working on a project so I was reading the comments to him and had
to compose myself before continuing
on. Love you all. dk
THIS IS TOOOOOO MUCH!!!!! TALK ABOUT THE STRESS OF CHRISTMAS!!
OK ... if the drawing isn't until February sometime ... let me ponder on this the next couple of days and then I'll post my decision.
Just to really confuse the muddle ... are you drawing one name, mom? (just checking.)
-a
Folks, i don't think its fair to put this on Mother/Isa - i'm sure somebody is clear on how many names will be drawn and the ethics of it all, but i am not. And i'm not clear what Gary is in on or not in on and why (other than his dislike of giftcards) and i have no idea where ivan is on any of this. And it seems to me that some folks have been misunderstood or not understood completely and that not a whole lot of people get put in the Christmas spirit by reading these entries. So i don't know whether i'm in or not - and at this point i don't even care. I'm still very much enjoying the presents i got a few weeks ago and am sorry to hear that some folks didn't like theirs or are upset that they didn't get theirs - both of which seem to be wrong reasons to change the process.
to answer Frans' question, i first suggested we skip a year because the debate at that time was whether we quit altogether or keep going with only some folks playing - the debate has changed very much since then and maybe skipping a year doesn't make sense anymore.
one more (very pessimistic) option is we could select those people who we think know us well enough to get us the gift we'd like and who will get it to us on time and do our own individual name-drawings with that smaller group of people.
and, mom/isa, while i agree that it isn't necessary to spend money on us, i know that things like the scrapbook cost both time and money but its the sort of thing i'll treasure always and that most other people don't ever get. and the clock from isa last year is prominently displayed in my living room along with a piece of mothers artwork from the year before that. call me selfish, but i'm not ready to give up on receiving gifts from you.
and, i agree with heather on remembering people who don't have families of their own on christmas - it seems to me that was on of the lessons of Christ's birth. (e.g. no room in the inn...)
i'm continually amazed that tragedies bring people together and blessings push them apart. i think before any more votes are cast or any names are drawn, it would behoove us all to reflect on the meaning of family and of christmas, to count our blessings.
e.
I am with the others and would like to think about it for a while. I'm very confused and would like some time to clear the fuddled brain of mine. I must admit my immediate "be done with it" was in exasperation and would like to step away from all of this and think through what I really want to do without making a decision based on reaction.
Heather
Post a Comment