Thursday, June 08, 2006

What's a mother to do?

Tanner's skateboard has now become a third seat in my Tahoe, permanently! Told him he will never get it back.
He broke his LEFT arm this time. Spent all day yesterday at the hospital. Dave and I told him he is done with the skateboarding thing and that he needs to take up dancing or something. He is very depressed about the whole thing but what is a mother suppose to do? I don't want him to become a crippled young man or even worse, hit his head one of these times (even though they are required to wear helmets).
So Tanner is facing a bummer of a summer with another 8 weeks of casting on his arm that goes from wrist to shoulder. If anyone can come up with some new hobbies for him, pass them on!!!
As long as it does not involve me having to wrap him in bubble wrap, I'm all for it!
Am I being to hard on him? Do I have the right to take away something that he loves so much? He is getting to the advanced stages of his skateboarding that requires higher jumps and faster speeds so if you miss once, it can be very dangerous. He wants to compete again, took 3rd last year. So I am torn. Maybe he will give it up on his own without a fight, he hates wearing a cast!
Time will tell!

20 comments:

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

JOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
I have a serious dislike for skateboards, along with the clothing that goes with them, but have 2 kids who skate. I don't know what you should do. Sounds like he needs a suit of body armor ... although look at the bright side. 8 weeks off the board!! Maybe he should take up trick bikes, dirt bikes, motorcycles ... yadada. Maybe it is a boy thing. Always have to be doing something wacky & dangerous ... just doesn't make the job of mom/dad any easier! Cooking class just doesn't sound like it would be a good substitute for skating. Basketball, football, soccer? Altho' I must say that I hauled Jari to the ER MANY times before we were even married. Anytime he did something sporty he managed to get hurt. 2 trips to the ER in the last 6 months with Blayde from playing basketball. Maybe we just cross our fingers until they turn 18!! Have a better day.

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

I told Tanner that when he gets his cast off he will also start drivers training so maybe that will take his mind off of the skateboarding thing. I don't know that I will be any less nervous with him behind the wheel but do plan on spending a ton of time with him on the road before he gets his license. I know you NEVER stop worrying about your kids no matter what they choose to do. We can just hope and pray that they will always stay safe. Hopefully Mitchell will take up track or golf or something less dangerous but with the way he is going, I highly doubt it and do agree that it is a boy thing! Look out Gary and Laurie!! Fill the car with packing peanuts and wrap them up in bubble wrap. (smiles)

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

hey now .. coming from a kid who has skated and been mortally wounded.. look. tanners going to skate for quite awhile.. eventually yes.. it will grow out of his system. til then make sure hes got a group of guys around him that won't hesitate to pick him up when he falls or if it ever comes to it, bring him to the hospital if need be. sounds crazy but you know how many times arizona skaters down here we've personally hauled to ER? its insane. 2 weeks ago our friend drew dislocated his toe and our other friend chris got a hernia(mind you he pulled his stitches out 2 days early and began skating again) but these things happen. i've taken alot of falls and the only thing that keeps me going is "always fall the first time, because then you know what your getting yourself into" .. poor tanner had to learn in the worst ways but i vote to keep him doing what he loves to do. hooah!

oh .. and by the way.. i need him to keep skating so i don't get lousy at it ;)

--Blayde

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

Thanks Blayde, I knew I would get a favorable vote from you (smiles)!
I always wondered how some of these kids can get so great at skateboarding without ever hurting themselves. The more I check in to it the more I am finding that almost EVERYONE that is real good at it has gotten hurt in one way or another involving at least one trip to the ER. Tanner just seems to break more bones than most. But you have to give him an "A" for effort!!! As a mother who has watched him practice for hours and hours, I must say that he is very good at it and I am very impressed with his ability and willingness not to give up beacuse of his injuries...you just come to a point when your worries are about more than just a broken arm but a fractured skull or a smashed face. You guys are all to good looking to have your good looks taken away from you. (smiles again) But I do like your response and I don't want to be the kind of mother that would take away a childs (young man's) passion. We will see where it all goes from here.
Have a great day Blayde!
Jody

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

Hey Jody,

I agree with Blayde. We all have hobbies or even more amazing, lines of work that may be risky, but we do it because we love it. My point is that police officers understand that there are risks in place, but I'm thankful that they devote their time and take the chance.

Think of all the inventions and the risks that have taken place for us to get where we are and be happy. For example: who was the first person that milked the cow and said "I'm going to drink that white stuff". Who was the first person who saw a chicken lay an egg and think "I'm going to eat that".

I am impressed that Tanner would want to continue skateboarding. I think he is learning an amazing trait that will bring him far in life. There are bumps, pains, hurts along the way, but we strive to continue doing what we love. Do you really want to stop that learning process?

I also understand the fear that the parents face. Who wouldn't worry, but does our worry than hinder the growth of someone else?

Have a wonderful day.

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

Who wrote that last comment?

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

Who wrote that last comment? Eric?

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

Eric I understand what you are saying and agree (mostly). Although I have initially put my foot down on the skateboarding thing (and so has Dave), right now Tanner really has no choice but to recoup for another 8 weeks and think about what is important to him.
He also knows the cost of every broken bone that he has had and the total for the last 3 years would make your head spin.
I don't want him to be a crippled young man, besides his career choice and passion (as yours) involves some sort of law enforcement or possibly the Army or Navy and he will have a hard time accomplishing that with aching bones and sore joints.
Sometimes your life does not take you in the direction that you want to go when you are 14, but the road seems a little clearer when you are 20.
Thanks for your words, I will have Tanner read these postings from you and Blayde and I am sure it will help him knowing that he has supporters out there. (smiles)

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

the thing with skateboards and every thing else is to know your ability. I think you should always push to improve at what ever you love to do ,push hard, but always remember that you are pushing (your) ability and not the people you are with. I have crashed and burned more times than some and it is the times that I went beyond my ability's that I went to the hospital. When you are pushing your self hard, but not trying to do more than you should at skill level you are at,you are still in control. That way when you crash you don't get burned. Tanner, Gary has went further than me in skating and boarding and I know that he would agree with me 100%. So when you get your board back and you go to the park remind your self that you are going there for you, not for others. You will have fun and you ability will grow than it does when you have your arm in a cast. If your mother does take away the board than that would be a lesson in life for you and your mother just as much (or more) than any amount of ridding. Good luck with the arm, hope it heals well. good day and push your self hard in everything you do.

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

that last one was from me, Frans

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

Can you tell who is a mom from these comments posted??? We were born to worry. Doesn't mean that I want wimps for kids or kids who sit on the couch whining about what they're going to do next. Yes, I would even rather mine were out there pushing hard at everything they do in life. I just don't like to see them making unsafe choices. Work hard, play hard, attack everything in life with vim and vigor ... just do it knowing your limits and not thinking you are capable of doing things you are not. None of us made it to this point in our lives (be it 15 years or 41 :)) by not reaching for the things we wanted to accomplish. So I can't hit a tennis ball worth a toot, but there are other things I've managed to stick to and accomplish in life. Whatever it is ... go for the gusto. Just remember that somewhere you have a mother who is probably gnawing her fingernails to the quick. And from the nurse who works on the trauma floor ... please do it safely because head injuries can change who you are for the rest of your natural life.
-anita

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

I havn't posted here for a while... but here's my 2 cents!
As a parent, I can understand the thinking to take away the skate board, would probably do it myself! So I'm glad its you, and not me, making that decision! heh But since I'm not in on the decision, I get to look at a broader view of the whole thing. I don't have to think so much about the broken bones aching, later in life. BUT... I've got a feeling, that if you ask any athlete, pro or not, if they would do anything different, looking back at how they aquired their aches and pains... they would do it, all over again. We all have our aches and pains, the older we get, the more we get. I would rather wake up in the morning, rubbing an arm, remembering a fall, than to rub it, and just know I'm getting older. I think its pretty impressive as someone already mentioned, that he's still going for it, after all the broken bones. The winner, isn't neceassarily the one that finished first, in my book, and in most of life, the winner, is the guy that would never give up. He's the one that gave the most, learned the most, and in the end, gained the most.

Tanner...If you are allowed to get your board back. Put a lot of thought, into what Frans posted. There's more to that, than you can realize. Do a little bit of research on a little thing called "muscle memory"... it'll do wonders for your boarding...
Stay in your ability, and perfect it... Perfection comes from repitition, if you can't do it in your sleep, its not time to move on yet.

****Reading by Diane PROHIBITED beyond this point****

I love motorcycles... In my mind, I can outdrive most motorcycles on the road. You have to ignore Frans laughing, but I'll challenge him to a race later... You also have to ignore Erics flashing lights, but he won't be back there for long...

I can't explain the feeling I have rounding a corner on the highway, at 160 mph on a bike... nothing can replace it. My tires are sliding sideways across my lane, the asphalt, is nipping at the jeans covering my knee...

I didn't get up one morning and start doing that. I found a corner, to practice the perfect turn. When I finally, after many attempts, got it perfect, I spent all day doing that exact same turn, and the next day, and the next... The whole time, I stayed in my comfort zone.. in my range of ability. I knew exactly what my body was doing, and I knew exactly what my bike was doing.. the whole time. As you get better, your range gets bigger.

Nobody sees those pro boarders, practicing over and over and over and ove... all they see, is how graceful, and "gifted" they are, as they compete. "Gifted"? bah humbug... Practice makes perfect, but as they say, nobody is perfect... makes for a lot of practice eh?

hmm Okay, throw out the 2 cents, thats a whole nickles worth...

Charlie

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

THANK YOU EVERYBODY THAT IS TRYING TO HELP ME OUT!!!! Haha. Skateboarding makes me happy. That's what i love to do, and if my parents allow me to, I wish to continue skating. I totally agree with Charlie when he explains the feeling you get when you do something you love. I just love the feeling of landing a trick and riding away smooth. maybe it takes me a few tries to finally land the trick, but to me its worth falling down, because i'll just get back up and try again. well, i think i'm going to go, because as you can probably imagine, it takes quite a while typing with one hand. haha.


thanks,
Tanner

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

Just a question ... perhaps several ... all rhetorical.
1) How many elections does a person struggle through before they hit the White House?
2) How many court cases does one try before they are appointed to the Supreme Court?
3) How many times did a Kuoppala have to wash the dishes before getting them done RIGHT?
4) How many windows did you wash before they were no longer streaked after the first wash? (mine still streak)
5) How many times did your parents say The Lords Prayer with you at night before you learned it yourself?
6) How many times does one commit near financial suicide AS AN ADULT before they finally learn?
7) What would happen if everyone on earth quit trying ... to find a cure for disease, a solution to starvation, a gasoline efficient automobile ... the list goes on and on and on.

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

WOW! A lot of words of wisdom and much appreciated from all of you. Charlie, we all know that Mother read below your "no entry Diane zone" and now you all know why us mothers worry like we do! (smiles)
So for all of you "thrill seekers" please don't tell your mothers what you are up to! (smiles again)!!!
Have a safe and fun week everyone!
Jody

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

Yeah... I kinda dared her to din't I? heh

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

i must say .. i did slip on the part that frans and charlie put in. do not push pass your limits ESPECIALLY for ladies(tanner! read that part 3 times!) .. ok ok! so its a little fun to have them fawning over you but c'mon! .. :)
(poor senseless advice from someone who still falls while he has the ladies attention!)

anyways .. just had to throw a little more spice to the pie.. this is a rather interesting post i must admit. enjoy hearing from everyone! :)

--Blayde

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

i broke my arm a coule of times and am still skating although i have slowed down. a new hobby for tanner, ive picked up biking. it is fun and mabey less dangerous than skating.
brian randall

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

Thanks Brian:
Tanner will slow down as well...and he loves biking, something he now has mastered with one arm. Encouraging him to take it very slowwwwwwwwww.
I did not know you broke your arm a couple of times. He gets x-rays again on Tuesday (on both arms). His right arm is not completely healed yet either, the holes are still not all filled in from where they took out the pins. He is adjusting to a mellow summer and I think he finally has realized that he really really hates wearing a cast.
Take care!
Jody

Kuoppala's & in-laws said...

Whew! This is a very interesting topic, especially from the aspect of a self-proclaimed Thrillseeker myself and a new mom. My mother would have gawked at the many things I have done. God's plan was never to have me dangling from 500 ft cliffs, gliding over avalanche debris, or ripping through raging whitewater rapids. The possibility of me "making the wrong choices" have been ever present in my life. The things that fill our hearts with thrill or exhilaration are the very things that fill our mothers hearts with fear and disdain. I'm sorry, Moms. I would never believe in quitting my passions. However, when Mom and Dad are footing the hospital bills that may become a different issue. My Dad's words are ringing in my ears...."as long as you live under my roof...."
There's a point at which passion and risk collide with the monetary value in holds. I remember a kid from Colorado so darn excited to free-climb to the top of a very easy, but kinda risky route. The thing he did not keep in mind, was that it was easier to climb up than down. He could not get down and they had to send in rescue helicopters to save them. Who foots the bill because you made a risky choice that cost a lot of money. I would not be the least bit hesitant to allow Tristan to follow his dreams. However, there is a point at which I say...risky behavior (to follow a passion) may cost you, but be willing to foot your own bill for the choices you make and have as much fun as you want. Do I sound like a Mom and Adventure seeker. So Tanner continue to skateboard, but get a job to put money away in a health savings account. NOW, if that is NOT the reason....then I seceed from the conversation and bow out graciously. I am the Adventure seeking Mom and would risk beyond my ability sometimes for the thrill of the event and could not hold Tristan back from that either as much as it would kill me to see him get injured. Diane has many situations that she has lived thru with the Kuoppala boys making those same risky choices. She's fretted, I'm sure, many a day....I think I've even discussed this with her in conversations past. What is your opinion Diane, let them live and pray God protects them, huh?